Best (Worst) Day Ever

So today i wont up kind of happy because i had an interview with a magazine and i was in the city so i was going to make it a special day for steven. I got through with the interview at 2:13 and my mom calls me on my brothers phone telling me i have to pick her up from the airport, so after arguing with her for 15 mins i realized i had no choice really. Story Mode: So im driving all the way back up to WCA, cause this bitch wants to be a bitch and im reaaaallly heated i mean im ready to kill because today was supposed to be a special day like i put steven through a lot of shit in three months and hes been a really good friend or w/e you want to call him 0_o these three months or w/e, so as im driving back up to westchester in this furious rage and like a dick head i decide to stop at a redlight to text but i went over the line where you stop so im like at the middle of the street and wham! i get hit. i swear i thought i was dead i cant even think straight right now but everyone is worrying and i need to keep you people updated before you go crazy. im just shocked right now to be honest im shaking like hell and i dont want to talk. but im fine the cut on my leg got worse but i'll be ok. and my car is wrecked but i have insurance so she'll be okay too. i just feel like an ass right now though, everytime i try to do something for steven, bad things happen. am i not getting a sign god is trying to show me? idk -_- i just need to sleep for once, just need to sleep i was already stressing over this love triangle, hexigan, octogon, polygon, w/e the hell you want to call it and i have been sick as a horse. thats it i guess i just need to relax right now. I only love one damn person! if i told you to get off my dick than get the fuck off! 

The day you kissed was my birthday -_- i hate when i have time to think

Give A Poet A PEN

i think i should start a holiday called give a poet a pen day lol i have to think about how people celebrate it first -_- i'll get back to you guys

Los Fronters

WEll im sitting up in the house looking down out my window, and i see something shine. It couldnt be me because im defanitely not outside and the stars arent out yet. so as this bright object comes closer i began to see a face. and yes i did recognize the face but the brightness is what is unfamiliar. its funny because this kid who is giving off this bright imploration is the same fucking kid who hypocrizes every fucking thing i do saying this like : "being a poet is for soft niggas" than turn around and wants my poetry pin to wear it to a poetry slam -_- and "yo i knew you danced but ballet nigga plus your in the drama club? come on you mad soft" than asking me to teach him how to demi-plei and perform monologues at talent shows. and the dumbest shit he ever did was say "yo andrew how do you win rap battles, you have the worst flow in the world, even if you hide your accent you still a bubblegum wrapper" hence im the one who introduced him to that fucking term! and the crazy thing is he goes around telling people im the illest rapper to date. like he dead ass said that shit! but back to the story. so i take a closer look at what is shining so bright and i notice its a ROPE CHAIN! waaait whoa back the fuck up. i technically brung that shit to my wack ass school and have been wearing it since before i went to that school and i didnt think it was a big deal .on january 14 2007 this kid made me feel like shit for wearing a huge ass rope chain to school which caused me to get an even smaller rope chain than he added "old school is wack if your gonna wear a rope chain just go retro" and this dude is outside my damn window with a huge ass rope chain and worn out ass cargo pants, a hawaiian shirt and a du-rag? dead ass dude? SUCK MY DICK! if your a fronter or a hypocrite. admitt that you love my style and want to be like me and i will PERSONALLY! mentor you my dude its nothing you'll be bagging in no time lol. (i dont bag) but really everytime you call me soft, its a compliment because people are attracted to ruffnecks and i consider myself to be one but if me doing or acting a certain way makes me soft, than so be it. im soft enough lay on top of your sister.


Style, Character, Appeal

3/14/09

i've been 18 for an entire month and its a big deal for me. a lot of things has happened within that month as some of you may know. so since this blog is open to the public, i just wanted to like let you guys into my mind and whats going on as much as possible. so being that i am 18 and have been 18 for a month! i can honestly say im waiting to have sex and wanting soooo badly. i mean im a laid back person and i dont want to rush anything, but damn -_- just damn imma be honest im sorry i really want some. im not that desperate to just "do" anyone, of course i want a specific person lol. but like i can wait as long as he wants me to wait. im just saying i want some lol. i feel like a fiend right now. i heard its not that special, or exciting as it seems but i want to be the judge of that. seeing how my life is going i dont want do die a virgin -_-. thats about it i guess im in North Carolina reciting plays to myself until i fall asleep alone in this dark empty room so. holla at me. see you soon new yorkers. and everyone else, i'll just...yea..peace! P.S. Man i miss michael!!! -_-" [dont get jealous or angry. i miss other ppl too] But michael most ^_^ [<< mad head]





With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you

Rope Chain Status

well today was okay. i went to football practice that was brutal. i think i tore something in my arm, it kind of felt like pulling a hamstring, but in my arm. so michael convinced me to see a doctor tomorrow so i will do that. lol. it was mad cold today. umm what else..... oh yea! Look at this shit [PHOTO ON BOTTOM] yes! i've been dreaming about this for years! u know as a kid and you would save specific starbursts' because you they were ur favorite and when someone asked you for one you would give them the ones you dont like. lol. yea well that was me with the pink and red starbursts' and i would take 2 bars, and save all of them and put them into one bar. but now they have it already packaged that way. and im fucking mad because i have juvenille diabetes so im screwed! but waiiit all hope is not lost! I'll just share one with my baby so i at least get to enjoy them >_<. mwuah ha ha! well plz everyone who eats candy go out and buy this specific starburst bar and eat it and think of me. than come back and tell me you ate it either on aim, myspace, yahoo, school, w/e just tell me how the experience was for you.

grr

I don't want to talk about it that is why im freaking blogging.!!! Talking about it will defeat the purpose of why i made this page and than i wouldnt need a psych right? stop writing to me

LOVE!!

According to webster this is a way to describe love http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love


to me, it is very different because you can do that with your damn cousin. i personally feel as if being in love is waaaaaay bigger than that. and im poosiitive a lot of ppl dont agree with the dictionary definition. which means everyone has their own way to describe the word right? oh yea you feel me huh? so how the fuck could you tell me im not in love! if everyone has their own personal definition? if i dont love you, we dont share the same heart...in my eyes. so dont tell me how the fuck i feel.

Poem in the making, Def. not a rap

throw words on a pad through pens and pencils
thinking im using all the write utensils..
although im a classified a dork or a nerd,
love can't be expressed-only through words

i, sit here thinking of whats ahead
i know i love the right person, though i feel dead
when i, sit here thinking wheres my first kiss,
i thought back on what i had missed

when writing on a pad if i mess up once, its a song
because i believe true words cant go wrong
crossing out a word to replace another
only shows you that you can easily replace a lover

When done, i write the date
i could've wrote it before but it had to wait
for if i cant fit how i feel on a paper
i will stop and get back to it later

No-Show

so i couldnt sleep last night because im feeling kind of shitty. i was going to this show i guess in manhattan with my brother and cousins but we kind of left my cousin hanging. so its like she sort of deaded me because she wont tell me if she went or not or what happened so im like shaking inside.my little brother went, but showed up at the wrong location so he just went home without telling anyone so that made me paranoid. i mean i guess its partly my fault for not giving her the money to buy the tickets but im sorry i forgot. so i just said fuck it and decided not to go. which is kind of fucked up because i can only imagine how nervous she was.my little brother is home with me now, but i didnt know where he was for hours he turned off his phone and i was so worried.i guess now im like a parent figure since my grandmother is gone and i should like take care of them or at least spend time and console them because shes gone, and thats what i want to do. but now i just feel shitty for being bad kinfolk. im just a shitty brother/cousin and i should die. :( IM SORRY GUYS.IM SORRY.

Family, Struggle,Stress

3/5/09

On my 18th Birthday I didnt think anything else in the world could hurt more than losing her (my grandmother) but lately things have been coming awfully close. My life has been shitty since day one i'll tell you that much, but i didnt think anything of it. Now that im older i realize just how fucked up it is. Going into this entirely new lifestyle and comming out and all of this other shit has sent me in everlasting whirpools and im about to hurl. Being in love is really wierd. I am aware that everyone is like no your not in love with anyone because i've never felt it, but that is somewhat ignorant because your not in my shoes. Ok now you telling me you lost interest in me um... kinda ripping me apart, im suprised i can even type at this point with a broken heart and tears forming in my eyes every millisecond. All of these new feelings like came at me and knocked the wind out of me and its hard to carry, especially without my grandmother so im just letting it all out in a blog due to the lack of friends and absense of a phone. I think thats it but i have to hurl soon so i'll just end it here.

Heartbreak, Rhymes,Spandex